#89. coughing my lungs out

fuck those phlegm stuck in my throat. i've been coughing like nobody's business and especially at night! wth! i hate having cough! now, my throats hurts from coughing too much ):

anw, EMRS has ended. should i be happy? should i be sad? i guess now i'm feeling more of sad. relieved, but still kind of sad. i'll miss all the best buds i've made there. and those silly things i did. and stupid feelings i felt. i love all you guys<3! the end of EMRS spells the start of a whole new hell. MSC! my top number 1 stopover i hope not to get - CHEERS! and 2nd in line - GIORDANO. Noooo, i sure hope i'm not in either of these. if not ... FML! although how worst could things get with all these shit load of crap in front of me.

i'm seriously thankful i have a whole loads of best buddies always right there for me. it's been so long since i last had this type of shit. and obviously, i wasn't ready for any of it. All thanks to these people, i steppped out of it. you guys are everywhere. and you know who you are. these people are fantastic people i've met in my whole 18th years of life. With you from my primary school, thankyou love! and you girls from secondary school! and last but not least, you peeps from my life now :D and ofcourse my lovely sister, who sometimes be angry at me over the smallest thing. but still, ily<3

***

i think i'm beginning to be more and more like my dad. not exactly in all the goods ways you can imagine. hahaha, but i got some good genes from him okay. at least i can hold my alcohol. although i wasn't drunk, but i was sure high~ lols. finally, i had been to my first club! despite being 18th for such a long time~ and especially since i always say that i would never step into a club! not even once, i feel like going again. but poor me, only have an empty wallet now :(( but still, there's always ladies night :D and seriously, iloveabsolut! with soooooo many bottles staring directly at me whenever i go to bed. damn those temptations. i'm gonna bribe you soon to let me grab hold of it! wahaha. *evil grin~

#88. distress calls

The best way to stop doing wrong things, is to stop doing things. It sounds ridiculous, but it's true on certain issues in life. When I know that some things isn't possible to happen, can't I just let it go? It's been so long since I had this feelings. This time, it's a little different, and a little complicated.

Hmm, but I know I can do it! Reflect if I should stop, Stop before it's too late. Life sucks in many ways. It's just how you look at things;

There is a group of guys skatboarding
at a void deck. 2 thoughts-

carefree people, enjoying life, having
fun.

passionate people, striving their best,
never give up.

Somethings that happen now, actually explains for certain behaviour from the past. Now, i understand myself better. Someyears back, I had stepped into my own shell. But somehow now, I'm taking more then just a peek, but i into the wrong place. To put things simple, imagine a turtle, hiding in it's shell for a long2 time. and at long last when it poke it's head out, it's actually a crocodile's mouth. wth right~

#87. square 1+1

I'm tired, tired of not knowing the future, not knowing whatever's going to happen next. it might be an excitement for some. but seriously, i'm not a fan of it~ perhaps, you could say I'm a coward that like to hide in her comfort zone. i'm cool with it and dont see anything wrong with it at all~ i wouldn't say i've been through a lot. but whatever is enough. sometimes when a certain issue is over, i feel satisfied. and when you look back, these worrries seems silly.

Satisfaction - It's
something which I really like, and could get from a number of places. But being
unable to commit fully to things that i could get my sense of satisfaction from,
I do not dare to approach it.

you might not understand whatever i've said. perhaps, when i read this again some time later, i do not understand it myself either.

A lot of times, i don't understand myself either. it was through people's word that i learn of myself. however did i portrait myself infront of them. Was it intentionally? was it fake? I don't know. I'm thankful when some people are trueful. Because it's only through these that i know myself better. but whether i want to remain this way, it's up to myself again (((:

#86. jalyn, janine, jerlynn

within such a short span, i seriously had learn a lot of things. and allow me to emphasize again, a lot of old sayings is so damn true. "Some of the best lessons are learned from past mistakes. The error of the past is the wisdom of the future" In short, i would only want to highlight the part that past mistakes are worthy in a way or another. but sometimes, it ain't easy to learn right~

i have said lots of things today, i hope that some part of it would be taken seriously and some - i hope that the person will ignore it and don't think too much.

another thing i realise today; a person's mistake can be fatal to the well-being of many others! but i can't elaborate on this point. it's not right to do so~

f#85. the fake me

i have learn quite a lot of life long lessons inquite a short time. or i should say, a lot of old sayings have been proven to be so true. let's start with the most recent lesson learnt which i always believe to be false till now - do not judge a book by it's cover. seriously~ i always believe first impression counts. but over such long time, since the human evolution, things have change. since the discovery of fire, people started eating food that isn't raw. what more could i say? i must start learning from pass mistake. if by touching the fire, it hurts you. lesson learn, do not touch the fire with bare hands. how i wish life's just so simple. personally, i think the me now is so not me. but, what more do i know afterall? i dont really think i know the real me. but whatever it is, i know i am putting up a fake front. but am i good at it? i dont really know. because at the present moment, i no longer know who is the real me.

#84. and after so long later

whees. i did take a long time to update. oops. wakaka. well anyway, school is starting in less than a week :( sadly. starting with emrs - event management nd roadshows. roarrr. but whatever, it's gonna be for 9 weeks. and damn, my laptop crashed! :((((( how? so sick! anw, i finally got the pw for my modemn. and now i blogging with my phone. so i guess this is a quicker update?! lols.

#83. i shouldn't be here!

polaroid cravings<3

ooh! look at the time! It's 2.30 am and i have to wake up at 6.30am later. and despite that i am not sleeping? OMG! even if i'm not sleeping, i should be studying! oh well, at least i'm not FBing~

3 papers had been done. 2 more to go! OMG, what's going to happen; i don't really know. All i want to think about is my holidays! whee. Gonna shop till i drop and after that, i would be so broke till i have to budget myself only $2 per day for my meals! lols. that's me! and i guess i'm off sleeping! Tas~

#82. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Sunshine smile <3

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST 老公，潘伟柏！<3

work is important, but must take care of health okay. Leg injured. Now hand? Take Care okay~

加油JALYN TAN! Exam coming, must study already!

#81. HEAD TO TOE - sore.

woah. Having sore head to toe. Aftermath of picking up shuttlecocks. How I know? Well~ because i only have sore on one side of my body - my right. Right hand, right thigh and right calve. But at least we had fun. Had to work after that, so didn't go out. Okay people, go out after exams okay. Busy me will try to make time. Lols.  

ohhhh~ and sadly i didn't go meet 老公 :'(( *cries

#80. hello love!

Ohh~ I have to work later~ hmm. Feeling lazy~ Gosh. I have to work tomorrow as well and play badminton in the morning. Long day ahead!

Well i skipped school today. Didn't feel like going at all. But i'll go next week (: and Yeah! I changed my blogskin! But IE (internet explorer) cannot view it properly. Like the blockquote, IE cannot see it at all.

i was just watching the Hi-5 Advertisement and i realize that not a single of them are the same people as before. So i guess it either that their contract is up, they are bored or maybe they are too old. Okay! starting from 3rd Aug, i'm going to start studying everyday! Hees. I hope i keep my promise. lols.